what i strive for.

" Thank You for being THAT BOY to me . For teaching me how to mature as a young lady dealing with the males of this world . Thank you for teaching me the game . You did it unknowingly , but I still thank you . You was THAT BOY to me . The one who broke my heart then mended it again then ended up breaking it again . You was THAT BOY who taught me life lessons about relationships . I use to hate you , despise even the mention of your name , but I grew up alot . And I'm glad you did the things you did . Because now I know to never give another boy that much control of me . "

That mindset right there is what I'm currently striving for;; I want to get to the point where I dont cringe at the mention of his name, sight of his face, etc. I need to learn how to move on and focus on how happy I am NOW, not how miserable I was back then. I learned so much about myself from my relationship with him, so really I should be appreciative! I now know what I like and dont like in a guy, my strengths and weaknesses, the things that bored me and the things that make my heart beat faster in excitement...I guess its just been so hard because we ended on such a sour note...like there wasnt ever an offical break up. On top of that, after the breakup, we tried to be friends a few times, knowing good and well we hated each other. And after those attempted friendships, I ended up hating him even more, which is why I think I feel the way I do now. But why?! Why cant I just let it go, stop letting it get me mad all over again!? I'm so much happier now, that part of my life has been over for over a year now, I'm about to move on to much bigger and better things and people...so I can no longer let him get me down. From this point on, I will try my best to maintain my composure and focus on the future whenever that relationship is brought up. Sounds like a plan to me :]
Quote Courtesy of iDream <--- visit her blog!

1 comment:

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