phases.

Lately I've been going through a ton a phases regarding this whole situation. First I was shocked, then confused, upset, mad as fuck, defeated, doubtful, but now I'm simply LONELY.

It's that "everyone in the world around me is happy as hell with thier relationships and just life in general, and here I am in the corner, jealous and sad as hell" phase. It's funny how when you're having the relationship problems, everyone around you seems happier than ever. I saw couples walking around together, hugged up, all that all day today...&&I just wonder "what do they talk about? do they argue ever? what keeps them both so happy all the time?". I envy those couples right now.

It really is bad though. I'm constantly checking my phone...no new texts, okay. I take rediculously long and unessesary routes to get to class just to try and pass him on purpose, hoping he'll say something to me. Doesn't work. The worst is at the end of the day when I'm at my locker. Everytime someone walks around that corner, I'm turning around looking and hoping to see him. Nahhh. How pittiful am I?

I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him.

I just got a chain txt saying someone was going to fall in love with me in the next 3 days. I can only wish. &&I just saw this fb group on my homepage: 'When I Push You Away.. Don't Leave.. Its Times Like That I Need You To Stay'. I joined it. Ugh.

I really am trying to stay positive though. I've kinda been moping around school the past few days. It does make me feel good, though, that people have been super concerned. &&I'm talking about people who arent even my closest friends. They'll come up to me in the hallway and ask if I'm alright, or come up to me in class simply to give me a hug because I look like I need one, as they say. I havent heard "cheer up" so many times in my life ever! I try, but it doesnt last long. How can I be happy when I'm missing my other half?

I need to get away :[