In a month, I will be graduating from high school. Two months of summer to enjoy with my family and friends, then off to D.C. I go.
&&Days like this piss me off. Because we are WASTING time. We should be cherishing every single moment we have together, in and out of school.
But instead what is happening? We are ignoring each other. Another day WASTED. A day that could have been amazing. But no. Just another day to add to the list of WASTED days. &&Who's to blame? Both of us really, not gonna lie. But I'm NOT feeling this shit anymore. I'M OVER IT.
I'm stressed out of my fucking mind because in about three months I'm moving 12 hours away from all the people I love, and the one relationship, besides those of my family and super close friends, that I want to hold on to most of all is falling apart right in front of my eyes. &&I read the little saved texts in my phone like WHERE THE HELL DID THIS GO? Oh yea, it went down the drain on prom weekend. One little night. Ruined. &&Now here we are...holding on by a thread. I'm simply awaiting the fate of this relationship, because honestly I dont know where it's going anymore. Because apparently I'm too pessimistic, too sensitive, and abide by the rules way too much. &&What can I do to make it better? NOT SHIT. So I'm stuck.
So why am I mad, you ask? BECAUSE I LOVE THIS BOY WITH ALL OF MY FUCKING HEART, that's why. But I have no idea what he's feeling at this point. &&That hurts. Because it's my fault apparently. &&I've been crying in my room for hours. &&That sucks, because it reminds me of my last relationship. WHICH SUCKED.
I just want him to hug me and kiss on me like he used to. I want to hear him say 'I love you' again.
What the fuck. I'm sad as hell. :'[