1. dear starbux, i love you soooo much. but sometimes, when I walk inside you, it smells like period. It just does.
2. if you wear ed hardy or anything christian audigier, you’re a douche bag. Sorry. This isn’t up for discussion. It’s a fact.
3. chat roulette = scary times USA! chances are you’ll end up 1.) seeing a dude with his dick in his hand, 2.) witnessing a murder, or 3.) chatting with a 14 year old or Paris Hilton. your call.
4. do something that scares you everyday. Except rob a bank. Don’t do that.
5. women need to start acting more like gay men: fierce, bold, & empowered!
6. straight dudes need to stop acting soooo much like gay men.
7. power meetings are the new black! They make you feel sexy, powerful, and ten pounds lighter! just setting one up will make you feel like you belong to an exclusive club! cuz you know what? YOU DO!
8. feel free to put money in a strangers expired parking meter… just cuz. it’s called good karma/being a nice person! you fucking ungrateful cunt-rag jerk. LYLAS!
9. snitches get stitches!
10. a run in your black tights isn’t a problem! no no no! it’s the solution! it’s the way to be! the way to be cooler!