So yall know a few posts back when I was saying a had a new fear that I would be addressing soon? Maybe it was on twitter, but either way whatever, here is is.
Now I'm afraid of pretty typical things like death, spiders, and drowning. But the other day I was sitting, thinking, &&I was about to bawl my eyes out when this new fear hit me...
I'm afraid of being forgotten.
It occured to me when I was texting bb one day. I was telling him how scared I was that our friendship was falling apart. He reassured me that we were okay...then I thought, "what about when I move away? then what?"
I'm gonna be a good 12 hours away from my family and friends, &&I'll only get to see them every few months during holiday breaks. I dont want it to be awkward when I come back home;; I want everyone to treat me as if I havent been gone for months at a time. I want people to think about me on a daily basis-I want people to miss the hell out of me like I'm gonna miss the hell out of them. That may sound selfish, but is it really? I dont want people to be like "ohhhh yeah, I forgot about sandi!" when my name gets mentioned in a conversation, ya know? I want my friends to be like "ahhh man, I wonder what sandi is doing...I cant wait till she gets home!"
Ugh! Ive already been thinking of ways to keep in touch with everyone;;sending letters and packages, skyping, of course keeping up with my blog...but I just hope it will be enough!
But honestly, I think this whole moving away thing is going to prove to me who my real friends are. So we'll see. But I can think of atleast 5 people that I know for sure I dont want to ever lose touch with...so hopefully they feel the same :[